The other night I was thinking about my bond and attachment with Amy. Before I had Amy I can say I over worked myself in my career. I barely made it home to dinner, or even to attempt to make dinner. I never thought of myself as a stay at home mother. Before Amy I was pretty much working and over working sometimes, that caused a discussion with my husband. When Amy was born I had plans to go back to work and begin my regular routine except not over work myself. As the time approach to going back to work, my husband ask me if I would instead stay home for a few months until Amy was bigger, I said no I have to go back. The day came when I did go back and that week was the hardest for me I couldn’t even get to say bye to Amy for the day without tearing up, I was at work watching the camera. I knew Amy with in good hands as she was with both grandma on different days but I didn’t feel right. When I went back to work things were also different and I knew it was a sign that I had to change. I had that conversation with my husband and we agree that I should stay home with Amy for a few months.

It been 4 months since I been home with Amy…. I still get nervous leaving her even if it for a quick run to the store. I can also sense that Amy feels the same she seem to know when I am getting ready to go run an errand without her. I know there are many mothers who feel the same or even worst when they have to go back to work. I never thought I would feel this way, I also was not prepare for parting from my baby. I am still working on it, yes I still watch the camera but it has gotten better when I go out. I try to go on errand runs when I know Amy is sleeping. Most of the times she is out running errands with me but when it is to cold or raining she stays home.

I always been a though person, always been the type that had a strong mind set, but Amy has become my weakness. I would like to say to mothers out there that if you get the chance to stay home or to start your own business like I did GO FOR IT. I think Amy was the push I needed to start something new and move on to a better my career. I know it can be hard at first as it was for me…. But remember the baby years will be long gone before you know it. I know some of your babies are in great hands but there is more that you miss out on when you are not there for your baby during the day. As I mention before Amy teaches me sooo many things every day, if i was working 10-6 every day I def would have miss her silly moments, her first feeding, her tummy time, her laughs, even our daily walks. Yah you can do some of that evening time but thats when your baby is starting to calm down and get ready for bath time. I been reading up on other countries that have a better system for maternity leave and our system sucks.

I know that a lot of mothers have to go back, all I am saying IF you get the opportunity go for it. I am glad my life change the way it did, and that I have an encouraging husband who push me to start my business. PLEASE SHARE HOW YOU DID OR WHAT YOU DID WHEN IT WAS TIME TO PART FROM YOUR BABY BECAUSE YOU HAD TO GO BACK TO WORK.